Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (12)

Synopsis:

After the mass destruction and numerous casualties in Metropolis caused by Superman’s battle with General Zod, a furious Bruce Wayne sets about obsessively plotting to take down the Man of Steel once and for all. Unbeknownst to the two warring superheroes, megalomaniacal tycoon Lex Luther has plans of his own to rid the world of Superman and Batman.

Review:

This was a film that I had eagerly awaited ever since it was announced – three years ago. I wasn’t the biggest fan of Man of Steel, but I thought Henry Cavill turned in a solid performance. I was ecstatic about the casting of Ben Affleck as Batman, and I was very intrigued about Jesse Eisenberg being cast as Lex Luthor. As the release date drew ever closer I became more and more excited, even when a trailer that spoilt most of the movie’s final act was released. Then came the reviews, then came the 36% on Rotten Tomatoes and my excitement waned somewhat. When I went to see it I was terrified that it would be a dull, excessively grim, unenjoyable pile of nonsense.

I was so happy to be proved wrong. I should clarify: it was nonsense. It was incoherent tosh, opening with two flashbacks happening simultaneously, both of which are contained within a dream sequence. Did I mention Christopher Nolan was one of the producers? It was an awful film, with plot holes so big you could drive the Batmobile through them. There were numerous cameos shoehorned in that added absolutely nothing to the plot; there were dream sequences that meant nothing; and premonition-like visions that probably meant something, but as of yet we have no idea what. It was the result of Zack Snyder rooting through his comic book collection and ripping pages from them, stapling them together and saying: “ta-dah, look what I made!”

However, there is one thing that can be said about this movie that I could not say about Man of Steel; in no way was this a boring film. It was one of the most enjoyable movie-going experiences I’ve ever had with a superhero film. It was so over-serious that the whole thing became self-parody. Superman departed from being Kal-El in order to go full Christ in this movie and Ben Affleck moodily glared with an intensity that would give Emily VanCamp a run for her money. At one point there is the most ridiculously camp workout session in film history and yet it is directed in the same moody and brooding fashion – Ben Affleck sweating, stripped to the waist, repeatedly hitting a tyre with a big hammer while music that can only be described as “intense” blared in the background. And, of course, let’s not forget Jesse Eisenberg’s performance in this hurricane of bad – he plays Lex Luthor as a comically over-the-top maniacal villain. It was nothing short of a delight to see, one moment he’d be overly cheerful, excitable, even charming and then in a mere second he would become terrifyingly angry. His performance may prove divisive, but if there’s one thing that can be said: he definitely knows how to do “unhinged comic book villain”.

There are some genuinely good things about this film; it’s a shame that they get lost in the mix. By “some” I mean “three”. Firstly, Ben Affleck is an incredible Batman – he does a very convincing job of portraying a Bruce Wayne/Batman who is world-weary and angry. Every moment he’s on screen you can almost feel the heat of his anger at Superman’s actions radiating from him. He was a captivating presence on screen and no matter what he was saying or doing I could whole-heartedly believe that he was The Batman (sorry Christian Bale). Affleck is portraying a Batman that has never been portrayed on screen before, and that is a Batman who is ruthless, dark and willing to go to extreme lengths to deliver justice. In this film Affleck proves once and for all that he is able to be a superhero, providing that they don’t have a red leather costume.

Jeremy Irons puts in a good performance as long-suffering butler Alfred and while his screen time is limited, he does get some great lines: “even you’re too old to die young… not through lack of trying”. Almost every piece of dialogue is him reprimanding Bruce for his actions and every line is delivered in that marvellous precise and clipped tone that only Jeremy Irons has. However, if you’re looking for a film where Jeremy Irons gets more than roughly twenty minutes of screen time then the excellent High-Rise is your safest bet.

And finally, Batman V Superman gets to stand in line with a sheepish look on its face next to genuinely good movies like Mad Max: Fury Road and Star Wars: The Force Awakens as another blockbuster with a real ass-kicking female character. For the first time ever Wonder Woman graces the silver screen played brilliantly by Gal Gadot. Her screen time is incredibly limited in comparison to Batman and Superman, but that can be easily explained away by the title of the film. However, while she is on screen she is tremendous. It is during the final climactic battle sequence of the film where she really gets her time to shine. Her costume is incredible, keeping the classic comic book look and yet also looking like gladiatorial armour. She more than holds her own next to Batman and Superman and while watching the ear-numbingly loud battle sequence I really got the impression that she was a vital participant.

Verdict:

An exceedingly dumb movie that makes little to no sense and considering the title of the movie the head-to-head confrontation between Batman and Superman is disappointingly brief. With that said there is plenty to enjoy in this movie and there’s plenty of CGI spectacle to marvel at. It may not be for everyone, but for fans of film that are “so bad they’re good” then this film is for you. In terms of quality this is a two star film, in terms of enjoyment value it’s a five star film.

Stars: 2/5